I Am a Wayward Child

Or so I was told via my grandmother, who’s on the other side now. It’s time I pulled my share of the maternal line and get on with being the kind of mother my daughters must have…NOW.

I’ve worked so long and so hard to be “successful” in the world, i.e. earning a decent salary, working a great job, volunteering through leadership positions and so on. That’s all well and good and had its purpose.

The Universe pushed me to change my reality, so no more Big Job, Big Money, Big Ego.

The focus of my new reality is my daughters and rearing them to be “that kind of woman”. You know the type: compassionate, kind and connected but also opinionated, strong and determined. To get them there will require a lot of energy, patience and butt-kicking from me. You see, they have mouths and attitudes, and they know how to use them…and they tend to use them for less-than-good purposes, like sassing back to me or wallowing in selfishness.

Yes, it’s part of their natural process of testing boundaries, identifying where I end and they begin, and creating their own identities. But it’s my job as their mom to be firm with those boundaries and rein the girls in when necessary.

I’ve been a wayward child for too long. I need to do my best to keep my girls from become wayward as well. So here I plunge headlong into motherhood with renewed purpose. May God and Goddess help me.

Hello, Tuesday. Why do you look like Monday?

My Tuesday has shown up disguised as a Monday. That bites. A water main broke this morning, so the utility shut off the water. It’s not expected back on until noon. So, I had to reschedule a meeting with a potential client since I’m not fit for public exposure just yet. You can’t meet someone you’re hoping to get to work with if your hair is beyond ponytail redemption.

Add to that a mean case of heartburn that came between me and my coffee. I know you know how miserable a morning can be without caffeine.

To top it off, the dog tore up a window screen and threw up on the carpet…twice.

So in the midst of this, I’m trying to focus on my goal of living an authentic life. The day has brought authentic routine chaos. Guess I should be a bit more specific in what kind of authenticity I’m going for.

“Pssst…I’m speaking to you” ~ The Universe

As part of my routine each morning, I check my email, scan my RSS feeds and hop on Facebook to see what’s happening in the worlds of the folks I care about. Every so often there’s a post that really stands out as more of a message from the Universe that happens to be delivered through a friend. Today was an exception: there were two such messages.

The first was quite simple: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” You might be thinking, “Well, sure! Duh!” Seems an obvious if not ubiquitous statement, right? What made this message special was its timing and its purpose as a reminder of where I am in life and a prompt to contemplate why I’m at that place.

Hot on the first message’s heels was the second (see the picture below), which essentially affirms that life is short and simple and to enjoy it we simply need to live our dreams and share our passions. In essence, we need to get out of our own way and follow our bliss, and in doing so all else that we need or desire will follow.

What a hard lesson this is to learn! I’m a recovering control freak, and finding the inner fortitude to allow life to happen rather than trying to orchestrate it goes against my nature. Remember the episode of “Seinfeld” in which George did the opposite of what he would normally do, and in doing the opposite everything worked out like a dream for him? That’s where I am right now, this very second, and it sometimes takes all the willpower I can muster to stop myself, consider what I’m about to do — out of habit! — and do the opposite. When I’m successful, I enjoy beneficial outcomes much in the was as George did.

What messages did the Universe send you this morning? Were you open and listening?

Life is a Snow Globe

My life is a snow globe that I shook like crazy then set down to watch where and how the flakes would settle. Some are still drifting, looking for a place to alight. If I don’t like the outcome, I can always shake it again. And again. And again. As many times as I want or need to.

The scene inside the snow globe never changes, and that’s OK. I like that sense of consistency: family, friends, home, hearth…the yummy-but-sometimes-difficult emotional entanglements that define the essence who we are.

But you see, once the snowflakes have settled, that exact scene in the snow globe is only relevant and interesting only for so long. Without a little shake-up now and then, a snow globe is staid, static and uninspiring. And if my life is a snow globe, why would I want that?